it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
