i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
