I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
