dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
