haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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