I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
