then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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