New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
