Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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