hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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