just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
