my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't deserve a penis
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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