Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
