So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
