Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
