Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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