It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
