I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
