im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
