Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My room smells like vodka and shame
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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