It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
