I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
