i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
