is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
