i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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