I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
