there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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