the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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