is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
