Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Michael Bay diarrhea
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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