Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
