i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
