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you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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