I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
