WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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