"it" just moved
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
