I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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