Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
