He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
