Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
