My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
