I wish my penis had an off switch
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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