You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
