Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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