My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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