My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
