4 words: hood of his car
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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