i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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