Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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