Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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